Ok, well it is and isn't me. I'm having a baby, but not giving birth to a baby! Can you believe that!! It really is a miracle. The baby is due to arrive Sept 10th. It's a boy and we call him little ninja right now because he loves to kick his mommy's belly.
Some of you may remember my post a month or so ago. I was really struggling, and feeling so sad and confused about why the Lord hadn't blessed me with children when all I've ever wanted was to be a mom. It had been so hard to see all my friends having babies, and not being able to experience the same joy. You all wrote incredibly sweet and encouraging things. I didn't really want to believe anything you all said, even though it was true. I just wanted to give up, and wondered if it ever would really happen. Well wouldn't you know, 2 days after I posted that blog, someone asked me if Marty and I had thought about adoption. I blurted out, yes!! He then went on to tell us that his daughter who isn't married was pregnant, and she was trying to decide whether to keep or adopt out the baby. While praying about it, she saw me and Marty's face. This isn't a woman we talk to or see on any sort of regular basis. She's a member of our church, though she lives in Seattle. Her dad has helped us out quite a bit (he helped us build our fence which is when he told us). It makes me tear up everytime I think about it, but he actually painted the nursery! I don't think it was just a coincidence. We had over 10 people helping us paint our house that day, but it was he that painted what I knew would be a nursery some day, with some help from Marty. Who would've known that his daughter would be giving us her baby for that nursery. As he told us the story about his daughter and the situation she was in and her desire to give this baby a mom and a dad, I just had this peaceful feeling, and understanding of why all the other options hadn't worked--the IVF, fostering, even a traditional adoption since we nearly maxed out the credit card with the yard. I knew that if she decided she wanted us to adopt the baby, we definatly would, and that the Lord really did have a plan all along, but was just waiting for the right time to unfold it to us.
The birth mom keeps telling us how she too has found peace for the first time in 5 months, and that when she starts to doubt the spirit reassures her that this is the best thing for this little boy. She visited us a month ago and said she knows little ninja is going to have a great time being raised by us, playing in the yard, playing with the children in the preschool, etc. It's amazing how everything has just fallen into place. We loved this woman before, always had admired her and thought she was an incredibly smart, talented, and beautiful woman, but now I don't even have words to describe the love we have for her, the profound gratitude and appreciation for what she's doing and the choice she's made to carry this baby so that we can become parents. She is making a sacrifice I couldn't even dream of making. One that I will be eternally grateful for.A lawyer is working on the legal stuff, and a social worker is completing a home study for us required by the courts. Its amazing everything you have to fill out and have documented!
The birth mom asked if I would be her birth partner at the birth, and I said yes of course! She's giving birth at the same birthing center as I had wanted to give birth at. We're going to take a birthing class later this summer. I've never been at a birth before so this will be a new experience for me. We stay in close contact with her which is really nice. We just love her so much!
My sister is going to plan a baby shower for us after the baby's born, and we know he's ours forever. Then everyone can get to meet the little guy as well. My mom was suppose to keep the adoption a secret, but hasn't done a very good job. The birth mom said she didn't mind who we told about the adoption, so I figured it would be safe to officially spill the beans. I'm so grateful that I was able to start my preschool/daycare before the arrival of this little boy and that I have 2 great assistants, my sister, and Ashlea to run things for a while after he's born. I'll be able to make a nice transition back to work, bringing him with him on my long commute down the stairs ;o) My youngest ones will be 16 months by then, and walking which will be nice, and I've already "reserved" a spot for the baby so that I won't be over capacity.
I have all the clothes I'd EVER need for the first 6 months of this little boy's life (3 drawers full!). Gotta love craigslist! A lady I was buying cloth diapers from was getting rid of all these great little boy clothes. A huge lot for a great deal. I have most everything I need for the nursery, though I'd like to get some pictures for the walls. I love to just lay on the bed in this room, the baby blue walls and green accents make it so calming. Of course I had to add a few hints of lavender, just because I like it.
Sorry this has been such a long post. Love you all! Thank you for your encouragement, prayers, and love! Jenny